Gen 1.9 More Letters and Two Scenes

TRIGGER WARNING: A racial slur and multiple slurs against women are used in this chapter also some mild cursing.

“Dear Shane,

We've fallen into a bit of a routine, the girls and I. We wake up at about 6:30 and I change Hazel and talk to her about body parts. Then I make breakfast for Juniper and I and give Hazel some toast sticks. Junie and I get her stuff together and get her off to the bus stop. After that, I play with Hazel for a couple hours and read her stories. Then I go off and sing a few sing-a-grams.

I don't like or trust that babysitter. Every time I come home, Hazel needs a change and hasn't been fed. I don't know what to do! I need the money! It's not like you're contributing anything while you're inside and Junie is still too young to be left in charge of anyone else. I have to be a model mother if I'm to adopt her.

It's usually the same 3-5 people wanting sing-a-grams every day. Griselda Zauber has me come to the real estate office a couple times a week and sing her a secret admirer gram and hand her a dozen red roses. I don't know who she's trying to convince she's desired: herself or her coworkers. Then Amani needs to be congratulated for working out. I guess it's motivating? Then it's a toss-up as to whether I have to tell Kent Lane he's special or congratulate Sam on working out. I'm beginning to think Sam is a sadist. Seriously? Who calls and requests their ex to come and dance around like an organ grinder's monkey?! He rebounded with Pam, that drunk from Gus's, and they had an oops baby. He really shouldn't be using his extra cash to have me come out and congratulate him on working out. He should be sending that to Pam for taking care of their baby.

When I get home I work on homework with Junie and cook dinner and then read both girls a bedtime story. I barely have time for my own research before it's my own bedtime.

You asked me in your last letter what I'm researching... Well, I've been given some equations to work on that should help figure out what quadrant the travellers are coming from. I have to spend a couple of hours each night observing the delta quadrant with my telescope and then in the morning I take my notes and work at it on the computer. It's slow-going. Sometimes I find a planet or a star that's been overlooked and can add it to the chart and sometimes I don't. It's a citizen science project at its finest.

I've also been working on radiation experiments on insects. I take samples of common insects, clone them and then subject them to radiation. Thus far, they are proving quite resilient. I've also been experimenting with sampling and cloning plant life. I'm trying to map the plant genome. Think of the possibilities! 

It's getting late. So I'm going to end this here.

Sleep well,

Lupe”

***

It was autumn again which meant parent/teacher conferences. Lupe had brought the girls up to the school to learn about Juniper's progress in school. Mrs. Kearney leaned forward earnestly to look Lupe in the eyes while she delivered her estimation of Juniper's scholastic abilities, “Juniper is a lovely kid, she is very diligent and always hands in her work. She's still struggling a bit in reading, but the tricks that she learned last year have definitely been helping her. She is a brilliant artist and I just love her answers to reading comprehension questions, but she struggles when writing them down. Juniper isn't much of a joiner, I've noticed, and she tends to stay close to the building waiting to get back inside. Could you talk to her about reaching out to her classmates? I know of several kids that would like to be friends with her, but whenever they reach out to her they're met with silence.”

Lupe knew that Juniper kept to herself, but didn't really see a problem with it. She would make friends when she wanted to. She had a decent group of friends, but now that Lupe thought about it, they were mostly her friend's kids, with the exception of Jude Lane. None of them were in her class. She nodded to Mrs Kearney, “I'll try, but why is it a problem if she isn't a joiner?”

Mrs. Kearney sighed, over her years of teaching she'd heard this question a lot, “Children need a community, Ms Estes, and their parents and family won't always be able to make that for them. You wouldn't want her to be alone in life.”

“With all due respect, Mrs. Kearney, she has friends, they just aren't in this class. I'll talk to her about which kids she thinks she could be friendly with and get her to reach out, but that's it.”

Lupe exited the classroom and nodded to the families waiting there. Juniper was sitting on the hallway floor playing peekaboo with Hazel who was laughing uproariously. Lupe smiled down at them, “C'mon, girls, let's get this wagon train a movin'!” Juniper had been on a kick of watching old cowboy movies and giggled, “So what did Mrs Kearney say Mom?”

Lupe looked around noting the other people in the hallways and waving when she recognized someone said, “We'll talk about it once we get home.”

Juniper accepted this and then saw Kathryn White-Fischer and her family up ahead, “Look, Mom, there's Kathryn and Lorraine!” She went running up to them excitedly to say hi and tell them about her pretty new teacher. Lupe exchanged greetings with Emily and Willy who always seemed like an odd couple to her but were obviously well matched. Emily was a tall thin woman with cobalt blue hair and a penchant for candy red lipstick. Her husband was a short, portly fisherman with a big, bushy, beard. They'd met at the bar near the docks where Emily was a bartender. He was a regular, but one of the few who didn't get into any trouble or try to pinch her bottom when her back was turned. During quiet winter nights he holed up in his corner table writing in a little journal, during lulls Emily would sit with him and he would read her his poetry. His words brought her to a rugged and beautiful life she knew nothing about. She was beautiful and much pursued, Willy was just kind and treated her like a person. He listened when she spoke and asked her opinions about things. Theirs was the kind of slow-burn romance that creeps up like mold. Unlike in the movies, there wasn't some grand realization brought on by an eleventh hour broken engagement to others. One day he was telling her about the mackerel that were schooling off the coast and the way the sun glints off their backs as they form a bait ball and she realized that she never wanted to have to stop talking to this man. He looked up while she was having this thought and felt like he was going to fall into her large brown eyes and reached up to touch her cheek with his calloused hand and she leaned into him. Six months later there were wedding bells and three months after that came Kathryn.

Emily was talking about the issues they were having with Lorraine in third grade, “There's just no halfway with her! If she's going to be friends with someone, it's gotta be besties or nothing! If she's going to learn anything she has to learn everything from every angle and it's driving everyone crazy. She has a lot of trouble transitioning from one activity to the next. The teacher was asking us for tips!”

“That does sound frustrating” said Lupe, scrounging for the right thing to say. She had no idea on how to help Emily and Lorraine's problems seemed quite out of the ordinary. “Have you spoken to the resource office? What does her doctor say?”

“The resource office thinks that alternative schooling might be better for her and allow her to take the deep dives into different subjects that she enjoys. The doctor says she is just more intense than other kids. How does Juniper like Mrs Kearney? I've heard nothing but lovely things!”

“Junie loves Mrs Kearney, but I'm not sure it's returned. Now that Jude and Kathryn are in different classes than her, I'm hearing about how my kid isn't a 'joiner'” Lupe rolled her eyes dramatically and Emily shook her head. Willy was deeply involved with his phone. The girls were exclaiming loudly about some TV show the kids were all into about capturing small animals. Juniper had been using the trading cards like flashcards with Hazel lately, informing her, “This is ratchan. He has electric powers. He's the cutest!!!!” Lorraine apparently favored a butterfly kind and Kathryn liked all the starfish.

***

“Dear Shane,

It's Thanksgiving today. I spent the last couple of days cooking tamales to bring over to Leah's. After washing Hazel's hands very well, she got the job of making sure the corn husks stayed in the bowl of water while Junie and I made the dough. We'd spent the past few days making different fillings- refried beans for the vegetarians, barbacoa and carnitas for the meat-eaters. Hazel took her job very seriously and didn't splash at all! Every time a corn husk floated up, she gently pushed it down again with a concerned look on her little face. I taught Juniper how to wrap them up in the corn husks and how to tie a surgeons knot on the carnitas and a bow on the barbacoa tamales in kitchen twine. Then Junie took it from there and I was able to make the salsas.

Somehow it's only at these holidays that I really notice children's growth. Junie is going into junior high next year and Hazel is going to be two soon. Leah and Elliot's boys are also growing like weeds. Elijah's just began high school and his voice is changing, but Guy was still happy to play with Junie. Joe is a sturdy little guy who'll be going into school next year.

You asked about turning Junie into a 'joiner...' It's not going very well. The other kids aren't as nice as last year's class. Apparently Abigail has been telling tails to Levar about me and Nina that aren't complementary. I had to explain to her what 'loose' meant when applied to women and girls! I'd scarcely call myself loose! I told her that when Levar tells her that his mom said her mom's a slut to say, 'Well, it takes one to know one.' That afternoon, I was called in because she'd been fighting. Now they seem to have reached an impasse. The kids all leave her alone because they can't take what they dish out.

The guardian ad litem says that next year, Juniper will be able to choose whether or not she will have visitation. Then we can talk about legal adoption. The social worker says that we're a long-term placement and that as long as we're both happy they won't move her! This year, I'm thankful for my girls and for the social welfare system.

Thinking of you,

Lupe”

“Dear Shane,

Why did you talk to me the day we met at the coffee shop? Marnie says you weren't much of a ladies' man and kept to yourself after Melissa died. What made me different than every other pretty face? You don't have to answer that.

I burried the lede, Hazel is finally talking! I was beginning to worry about her and talked to the doctor about getting her hearing assessed again, when she solemnly lifted her hand and pointed to the door and said “Out!” clear as day. I feel like she's been adding a word a day since then.

Junie wants to set up a lemonade stand at the spring festival for her scouting troupe. When I reminded her that she'd have to be outside and talk to people for hours, she was undetered. I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but that's what we'll be doing this weekend. This time there won't be an exciting man to help me learn to skate or to bring me cotton candy. Just a lot of lemons to make lemonade out of.

Regards,

Lupe”

“Dear Shane,

They may have moved to a full year calendar, but the new year still starts in the fall. Junie has moved into junior high this year and is hitting puberty with a vengeance. The less said on that, the better.

I finally got Hazel potty trained! Now she's a real kid! Just in time for me to quit sing-a-grams. I was going to go do a sympathy sing-a-gram and for some reason it requires sparks. I tripped on a loose carpet while I was doing a shuffle step, kicked the box and caught fire. Luckily, I was able to stop, drop, and roll, but I'm done. I called Mr. Johnson right then and there and told him that I quit! I told him to lose my number and that if he didn't he would be hearing from my lawyer!

I guess I'll be researching full time now. I did discover something very odd yesterday. If I take a cockroach and bombard it with enough radiation it can transform into a plasma bug. I've taken some DNA samples and cloned the bug and now I have about five of them. I've spoken to some people in town and apparently they fetch a pretty penny on Ebay! It certainly beats selling scientific samples to the science center or correlating data for them piecemeal.

Cheers,

Lupe”

“Dear Shane,

Junie is such a good big sister! I was very involved in my work this afternoon and didn't hear Hazel begin to fuss. When I came downstairs, Junie had picked her up and carried her into the kitchen and was trying to put her in the highchair! I helped her get Hazel settled and then we decided what to give her for dinner together. I can't believe she's going to be a teen tomorrow!...”

***

Lupe and Juniper had been working on her party for weeks! They'd carefully hammered out the guest list and the menu the one thing they hadn't counted on was crashers. Who thinks of party crashers when they're planning their little girl's birthday?

The party had been going swimmingly. Juniper seemed to transition to a young woman before Lupe's eyes as she blew out the candles and Lupe decided to mingle with her friends reminiscing about when their babies were still little. She didn't know when Nina showed up, but she'd beelined over to Juniper and was screaming a blue-streak. Nina hadn't attended visitation in months and yet here she was, just to prove they wouldn't be rid of her, it seemed.

“You couldn't even invite your mother to your birthday! This is all that wetback bitch's doing

isn't it? She took you away from me and now she's turned you against me!”

“You turned me against you, Nina. You were supposed to love me and protect me and instead you left me outside in the cold. No! Let me finish! It's my turn to talk, for once. I have listened to you bitch and moan since I can remember about how the world owed you something and---”

“You were supposed to love me! Your father was supposed to love me! But that bitch needed him more and you look like that good-for-nothing son-of-a---”

“No, Nina, you were supposed to love me and take care of me! I was a kid and pulling blankets up over your body wondering if you were dead! All Lupe ever did was take care of me. She helped me with my homework. She took me to club meetings and playdates and came to all of my school things. All the things you were too busy to do. She pays for school trips, she cooks dinner. She taught me to cook! All you ever did was watch soaps and fall asleep on the couch when you weren't doing who knows what!”

“I gave you life! I sacrificed my best years for you! You ungrateful little bitch! I disown you!”

Lupe stepped in at this point, phone in hand, “Gracias por viene a la quincenera de mi hija, pero es necessita that you go now. I believe we've gotten all the footage that we need, isn't that right, Maru?” Maru inclined her head slightly while glaring at Nina. As Nina turned around to start protesting her treatment, she was met by stony faces and found Eliot at her shoulder. The normally affable, vain man was solemn and touched her on the elbow guiding her toward a waiting taxi, “Thank you for coming, please make it home safely. We've already paid your fare.”

Author's note: I'm sorry for using this language, but I wanted to show how language can be used as a weapon and how it feels to have it turned against you. I'm not Mexican, but I can't ignore how my neighbors are being treated by a large part of my country and as another minority, I wanted to create something which would make people empathize with them. In my experience, the way bigots level slurs against us is casual and what feels like a bomb going off to us is a statement of fact to them. "The sky is blue; Lupe Estes is a spic and a wetback." Is your heart beating faster after reading that? Mine is. This is the constant reality for minorities in this political climate. I am constantly on edge waiting for the next thing to happen and wondering when will be the time that we need to pack our clothes and run for Canada. No one in my family has had to contemplate leaving everything and running for their lives in over a hundred years. Here I am wondering when you know to run. I'll ask my Syrian neighbors. I am blessed to live in a diverse neighborhood.