Gen 1.18 An Argument and a hastily planned trip

The next afternoon Lupe got to the coffee shop nice and early. She sat at a variety of tables, trying to find the perfect one, but her restless energy got the best of her and she began to browse the Friends of Meadow Glen Library resale shelves. Florita was ten minutes late, as usual, and walked up to Lupe with big smiles and fake cheer exclaiming, "Lupecita, such a treat seeing you twice in a week!" she grasped Lupe's shoulders in a facsimile of a hug, bumping cheekbones with her while making a "mwah" sound. Lupe felt overwhelmed with the closeness, her baby name, and her mother's gardenia perfume. It was all the right words with none of sentiment. "Mother" she replied, acknowledging Florita. Years of anger and resentment were threatening to come boiling out.

Lupe took a deep breath to center herself, "Ash saw you and Shane arrive together, mother." she said coldly.

"Mija, he was just being nice! When you're in the room, I don't exist..." Lupe almost believed it, but she saw the way Florita looked away and gave a nervous laugh.

"Men who are 'being nice' don't touch women's hair they aren't with or help women out of their cars."

"What do you want me to say, Lupe? He's my boyfriend. He didn't want to tell you. Are you happy?" Florita said snappily.

"You're so lazy, you can't even find your own men! You have to go taking mine instead! I couldn't even have boys that were friends over or you'd come out in something slinky asking me to zip you or needing help with a jewelry clasp. I never wanted anything that you had. You killed Dad with that, you know? He worshipped you and worked so hard to keep you happy, but it was never enough. You had to steal my youth, my friends, my boyfriends! Did you ever sleep with Mike's friends too? Did Anna leave because of you? We're through, Florita. I'm not your retirement plan."

When she got home, Lupe still had a head full of steam. She sat down at the computer to do some work and spotted an ad on her homepage. It featured a pyramid and a palm tree with scantily clad people in gold lame costumes at card tables. It was for the new casino in Las Vegas, but it put Egypt into Lupe's mind. Florita would go to Vegas and stay at the Egyptian and come home talking about how elegant it was and how fun it was and how much money she'd won. Lupe would go to Egypt and see the actual pyramids. She would come home with carpets and pictures and a papyrus scroll to hang on the wall. She would do traveling right. She would meet locals and go on historical tours. She would do everything that Florita would find dull. She consulted her calendar and the school calendar and before she'd really processed it, she'd booked them a trip to Egypt.

Was she really going to do this? Did she really book a trip to get back at her mother? Did it matter? At dinner that night, she drummed up enthusiasm telling Hazel, Ash, and Damaris about it while trying not to feel bad she wasn't taking Damaris too. Both girls would do better for the breather, she thought. Throughout dinner her phone pulsed in her pocket.

After getting Ash to bed and giving Damaris a lift home, Lupe finally checked her phone. She had fifteen missed calls. Ten were from her mother. Three were from Shane. Two were from her brother. In looking over her texts she saw her mother had written her a book justifying her actions and turning it all around on Lupe. She had a few texts from Shane apologizing and informing her that this is not how he wanted things to go down. He also said that he understood if she didn't want to talk to him but not to keep Hazel from him. She almost wrote back, "What makes you think she'd want to see you after she knows you're with her grandmother?!" and then stopped herself. Mike's texts just said, "What's going on? Call me!!"

Lupe decided to start by calling Mike. He answered on the first ring, "What did you say to Mom!? She's over here and she's not making any sense! She's just wailing about how she can't do anything right with you and it's not her fault."

Mincing no words, Lupe began, "She's seeing Shane, she didn't tell me. She didn't tell anyone. She told him not to tell anyone! My mother and the father of my child! It's disgusting! You know how I found out? Ash saw them. My son saw his grandmother kissing his sister's father."

Mike gave a long-suffering sigh. "Were you seeing him, Lupe?"

Lupe was exasperated, "No, but that's besides the point! She always had to go and flaunt herself to my boyfriends and your friends, like their looking at her would make her young again or score points against me. She slept with the youth minister at church! Dad caught her with him! And he still forgave her. He blamed himself, that if he wasn't working so much she wouldn't sleep around. This isn't the first time she's done this, Mikey." She took a breath, surprised by the vitriol. It felt like lancing a boil.

There was a long pause and some wet breathing on the other side of the line. Finally, Mikey spoke, "I know, I remember. She was very inappropriate with our friends growing up. She... You remember Dave? My best friend? His mom refused to let him come over any more after seventh grade when she came to pick him up and Mom was wearing that pink robe with the feather trim."

While Mike was in a talking mood, Lupe asked, "What happened with Anna?"

"It was dumb. I was dumb. I didn't know that she was constantly in Anna's ear about how she wasn't good enough for me and calling her a 'sweet negrita' and playing dumb when Anna got upset about it. She'd say things to Maya when she was a baby about how mama was cafe and daddy was leche and she was cafe con leche, but that was ok because maybe she'd have a baby brother or sister who would be leche con cafe. I was away for work a lot and she'd get in my ear about Anna visiting friends and relatives and was I sure I could trust her. She tarred her with her own brush! I became convinced that she was cheating! I'd come home early or stay out late to try and catch her and drove her away. She was right to leave me; I wasn't abusive, but I was getting there."

"I'm sorry, Mikey." breathed Lupe. She hadn't counted on how their mother would deal with being second to someone else in her son's life. Lupe didn't know if Mike was seeing anyone currently, he seemed to be all in on work and raising Maya. Maybe once she was grown, he'd start looking again.

After they got off the phone, Lupe checked her voicemails. Her mother had left a range of them. There were a few where she was up on a high horse lecturing Lupe about how dare she treat her mother that way! She was just a poor widow woman trying to find her way in the world and now her daughter wanted to steal her happiness! There were a few in a towering rage about how ungrateful Lupe was for being angry with her for seeing Shane after Florita gave her life and raised her at great personal expense. And, of course, a few acting like nothing was wrong at all saying simply, "Hello Lupe, I just wanted to say 'Hi!' Call me when you get a chance!" All of these messages were mixed up together with no relation to each other, no cycle, just trying for a reaction. Lupe deleted them all and settled in at her computer researching travel tips for their upcoming vacation.

Author's note: Sorry about the delay in chapters. Things are a bit hectic around here IRL so bear with me. It's also getting harder to write as the kids get older I find I have divided loyalties between setting up the next generation and properly sending off the previous one. 

Gen 1.17 Thanksgiving

A week after they returned, Juniper packed up the rental truck with her things and she and Lupe drove down the hill to Leah's old riverside cabin. Lupe couldn't help but think back to the scared little girl who'd come to her house with all her worldly belongings in a black garbage bag. How far she'd come! She was now leaving with enough stuff to outfit a small home with housewares.

The cabin looked much the same as it had when Lupe had first seen it twenty-five years ago, maybe there was a bit more sag to the roof and more wear on the door, but it was the same small brown structure with the tiny porch and even tinier breakfast nook. Leah had always referred to it as her "grand dining room" with a sparkle in her eyes. Lupe had thought the artist's cabin quite glamorous back then, but with her new eyes, it looked small and a little shabby. She could tell that Juniper thought it quite wonderful now as she climbed the three steps to the porch and unlocked the door with an air of great importance. She held the door open for Lupe and gestured for her to enter, smiling broadly she said, "So, what do you think?" in a kind of leading way. Lupe could see that it had been given a good scrub down; the floors had been refinished and the windows replaced. There was a new sink, but the same giant gas stove and a new fridge. She couldn't bear to crush Juniper's happiness, "I think it will suit you admirably" she said and gave her a hug.

True to her word, Leah had left her old easel with its layers of paint and her sculpting stand. The two women set to work moving Junipers things in and getting everything set just so. Then they embraced crying like they would be separated for years, by continents, and not a mile and a half up a hill. Neither of them questioned it. Then it was time for Lupe to return the truck and she headed off with her bike in the back.

Hazel's friend Damaris came over most days to do homework and have dinner together. The two would set up camp at the kitchen table their dark heads close together, chattering as they worked. On days when Hazel had soccer practice, Damaris was up at the hospital visiting her mom. Lupe smiled indulgently at the girls as she prepared dinner, "How's your mom doing lately, Damaris? What are the doctors saying?" asked Lupe.

Damaris looked up frowning, for a moment, she'd forgotten she had a life outside this cozy house, "She had another surgery today, but the doctors aren't optimistic. She's fighting really hard, but it doesn't seem to be doing much. I'll go up to visit her tomorrow after school, she's really mean when she's coming out of sedation"

Lupe put down her knife, crossed to where the girls were sitting and gave Damaris a half-hug. She put up a tough front, but she was still a little girl inside who yearned for unconditional love. Lupe knew that life wasn't easy for Damaris and that she'd managed to chase away almost everyone who had tried to care for her. Jas was almost despairing about it, she'd really tried to befriend her stepdaughter, but Damaris had never let her in and there were still Jo, Rex, and Kesha to care for. Sebastian was so busy with work that he might as well live on another planet for all the time he was at home.

Lupe went back to cooking and asked Hazel, "Who did you sit with at lunch today?" She found the way that Hazel moved around fascinating and always making space for her spiky and somewhat off-putting friend. Hazel's attitude of "Love me, love my friends" was endearing.

Hazel rolled her eyes, "We sat with Drew and his new theater friends. They are just as weird as he is!"

"You know you don't have to do that, you could just sit with June and the other popular girls..." said Damaris.

"I could, D, but then I wouldn't be sitting with you! Besides, have you tried talking with them? So boring! I like variety! I like to sit with Drew Kearney and his weirdos sometimes and Jeri and Augie and the other brains and other times, just the two of us." Hazel could've sat with the popular kids, but chose not to. Damaris didn't quite understand why, but she was grateful; the other kids left her alone when Haze was around.

Usually Damaris went to the hospital a few times a week to visit her mom and tell her what she was up to. She didn't really want to, but she felt so bad because her mother had no one else and she was scared that if she didn't go she would regret it later. Her mother was the exact sort of person that she didn't want to be. The possibility that Griselda could die alone and unmourned haunted Damaris and she tried to scare up some feeling, some sentiment for the woman who bore her. Maybe her father felt something for her? He had to once, right? Otherwise she wouldn't be here.

Hazel's house was a respite for Damaris. She was over doing homework most nights and came for part of the weekend too. She tended to keep her problems to herself and tried to bathe in the comfort of Lupe and Hazel's normal relationship. Their fights and the rhythms of their life soothed Damaris in a way her own family life didn't. Sunday night dinners were her favorite. Lupe would make a big stew or pan of enchiladas enlisting the help of all children present. Juniper would come up from the cabin to do laundry and visit her family. Sometimes Maru and her family would join them and Damaris would get some bonus cousin time. Sometimes Leah and her family would come up. It was a large and jolly group.

Jeri Jones-Arzt was too cool for life. On the first day of ninth grade, someone tried making fun of her and she just gave them this disdainful look with her hands on her bony hips causing the gir to back away from her. Jeri and Hazel had been friends since they were babies. They didn't even know why anymore, but they stuck together against all comers. Hazel, puppy-like, kept trying to glue Damaris and Jeri together, but while they respected each other they were never going to have the relationship with each other that they had with Hazel, kinship or not. Hazel seemed to believe that the transitive property applied to friendship and kept getting disappointed when it didn't.

One night, Hazel vented to Juniper, "The one thing I don't understand anymore is the boys! I can't talk to Joe or Augie alone anymore or people start saying things... but I can't talk to them when we're around people either! They're boys then! Why can't they just be my friends again? I wish we were little!Then no one would be saying these things! I can't even be friendly with a boy because then if his friends go by it's all secret nods and fist bumps. The only person that's normal is Drew Kearney and then it's because 'normal' for him is different!"

Juniper was half listening as she painted, "Andrew has always been odd. Does he still want to be a magician?"

"He's gone out for drama club, but has stopped wearing a cape to school. He's taking dance classes after school, too. Some guy on the football team was gonna beat him up, but every time he tried to punch Drew, he just danced out of the way and shouted 'Toro!' For a week after that he wore a short flat hat and carried his cape around and whenever he saw the guy he'd stand like this," Hazel got up and assumed the bullfighter stance, holding an imaginary cape, "and twitch his purple lined cape at him! I saw him do it once! It was hillarious and ingenious, now none of those guys will bug him and they call the other guy 'Toro'! He'll never live it down!"

Juniper laughed and stopped painting, considering this, "He should embrace it, 'Toro' is a pretty intimidating nickname, if you don't know the story behind it. What are Joe and Augie doing that makes you say they're boys now?"

Hazel laid down on Junie's futon with her head propped up on a pillow, and then rolled over onto her belly hugging the pillow to her while she thought, "I don't know, it's like this look and then when their friends come by and see them talking to me they're like checking me out and approving or not. Plus I heard one of Joe's friends say something nasty about Damaris and how he gets it sometimes you gotta deal with the dog to get close to the goods. I feel like a vase!"

Juniper gave a her a sharp look, "And what did Joe say to that?"

"He said that Damaris was really nice once you got to know her. Then the other guy said, she better put out! Like her whole value was between her legs!" Hazel was seething with the injustice of it all over again.

Juniper sighed and said with the air of one who knew, "To some people, it is. You know about Nina. She bases her whole self-worth on men; to her, women are only valuable based on how attractive they are and how much money they have. You wouldn't believe the things she'd say about women who had things she wanted that she didn't think were better than her! And now look at her: she's forty, an alcoholic, and she's lost her looks and her brains to meth. If you ask her, she's still got 'it,' whatever 'it' is and everyone else is just jealous of her."

Hazel sat up, concern knitting her brows, "Has she been in touch lately?"

Juniper busied herself at the sink emptying her paint water and cleaning her brushes, "She got taken up in a bust for dealing. She wasted her one call on me and now her lawyer is calling me to try and get me to testify on her behalf as a character witness. He's a shit lawyer! He either did no research or took Nina's word for it! I was a mistake she had when she was twenty! She isn't quite sure who my father is and she lost custody of me at six years old. Who the hell thinks that an estranged daughter would make a good character witness!? When I pointed this out to him, he started stuttering about pushing for leniency and rehab. Like, look pal, she's been to rehab. She's a rehab drop out, what makes you think this time will be different. If you require me to testify, you will regret it. Strangely, I haven't heard from him again! I did get a nasty letter from her though. I keep them all in a file folder over there," she gestured to a drawer in the kitchen, "but I'm thinking of making copies and setting them on fire. Or sculpting a fire and decoupaging..." Hazel knew when creativity was grabbing hold of her sister and gave her a hug and kiss and left. Juniper had pulled out a large sketch book and was making notes and sketching with broad strokes.

When Hazel got home, her mom was cooking dinner and her brother was sitting at the kitchen table working on his homework. It was Wednesday, so Damaris was visiting her mother and it was just the three of them. Lupe called out, "Hi, honey, how was school? Where've you been? I thought soccer season was ending?"

Hazel settled in across from Ash and got her own homework out, "I decided to stop in at Junie's on my way home. She sends her love, by the way. She was painting, but said I could hang when I texted her. Today's Wednesday, Mom, soccer's Tuesdays and Thursdays?"

Ash watched his sister set up her books and supplies thinking about how different he looked from her. It made sense that he would look different from Juniper, after all she was adopted and they didn't share any blood at all. Hazel looked like both her parents, but also had something all her own. Ash heard all the time from everyone how he looked so much like his father that it was uncanny. He looked nothing like Hazel, shouldn't there be something that they shared? They did have the same mom, after all. He ran his fingers through his honey colored hair restlessly.

Maya said that he must be a changeling because no one else in the family looked like him. She thought highly of her aunt for raising him up anyway, because the fairies might bring her real cousin back. Ash thought that quite silly, if he were a fairy he'd have wings and could do magic. He'd scratched his shoulderblades raw trying to free his wings and nothing happened and no matter how hard he worked, he just couldn't seem to make the plants bloom faster. He'd told Maya she needed to read more sensible stories. Maya had called him a weenie and stuck her tongue out at him. So he did what any younger cousin would do and yelled, "I'm telling! Mom, Maya called me a weenie!" Lupe and Mike had responded in unison, "Don't call him a weenie!" and "Maya, no name-calling!"

Having two sisters so much older than him was kind of like having two extra mothers. There was always someone who could pay attention to him, play with him, or read with him. Lupe was pretty busy keeping the family running and working, but she always made time for him before bed. She read him books, new and old, whereever their interests lead them. For a while he was having trouble falling asleep and she read to him from bait books and home improvement manuals. Ash was beloved by his family, his teachers, and his neighbors, but had trouble making friends with children his age. He was strange to them with his large vocabulary, serious nature, and seemingly magical ability to make adults see his side.

Due to Lupe's newly brighter outlook, she decided to host Thanksgiving that year. It was ambitious, but she wanted it to be a potluck and to invite everyone she loved who had made a family for her and her children. In the days leading up to the celebration, Juniper was up at the house every day helping Lupe and Hazel cook. Since she had such a delicate touch, Junie was in charge of the pies. Lupe, Hazel, and Ash were making the tamales. Hazel had taken over Juniper's old job of assembling, wrapping, and tying the tamales. Ash was chafing over still having to do the "baby job" of making sure the corn husks were evenly soaked. Lupe was making fillings and sauces. She'd made an event on Pot-Lucky with all her guests and what she needed to make a complete meal. She hadn't checked it, but with all the people she'd invited there was bound to be more than enough.

Thanksgiving Day dawned bright and cold. Most of the trees had long ago lost their leaves and those that remained, clung grimly and determinedly adding little cheer to the dreary day. Juniper had stayed over the night before to help clean and set things up. Soon after breakfast, they shoved Ash out the door with a toy and a book and told him they'd call him back in for lunch. Wise beyond his years, he took off to the barren forest knowing that if he were to poke his head back in now, he'd be put to work. At noon, he was called inside for a hasty sandwich and hot cocoa that he bolted down before running back into the forest with a cookie in his pocket. He was up in his fort when he heard the first cars arriving, and got up to the house to see something he wasn't supposed to.

Hazel's dad and Ash's grandma pulled up to the house at the same time. Ash didn't like his grandma, so hung back in the woods as Shane helped Florita from her car, his hand lingering on her elbow. He tucked her graying hair behind her ear and leaned in to whisper something in her ear. She laughed and lay her hand on his chest. Then the two of them looked around and consciously stepped back allowing space between them before heading up to the front door holding grocery bags.

Ash came in a few minutes after them in time to hear Florita's usual passive/aggressive greeting, "It's so wonderful to see you sticking to the old traditions, mija, but your tamales are missing something... Did you add the achiote to the pork? It just doesn't smell like mi mamita's!"

Lupe sighed and kissed her mother on the cheek, "Lovely to see you too, Mom." and then turned to greet Shane after he bear-hugged Hazel, "Just as beautiful as always, Lupe, I can't believe this sprout is now a teenager when you don't look a day over twenty-five!" She hit him gently with an oven mitt while smiling ruefully, "Oh, you!"

The party proceeded normally with Shane and Sebastian circling each other like strange cats, despite the fact that Sebastian had been around for quite a while and they had three children together. The children formed packs separated by age and the parents sat together to talk, reminisce, and marvel at how much everyone had grown and changed. Ash was stuck in a no-man's-land between the little kids and the big kids at age nine and didn't much care for Maru's youngest son, Micah or cousin Maya.

That night as they were cleaning up, Ash asked Lupe about what he'd seen, "Mom, is it polite to help women out of the car?"

Lupe stopped putting away plates, giving Ash a confused look, "It can be, but it's something a man might do for a woman he liked romantically, why?"

"I saw Shane help Abuela out of her car and touch her hair. Why would you touch a girl's hair?"

The world stopped a moment for Lupe. Her mother and her ex. Her exboyfriend and her mother. The father of her child was paying court to her mother!? Florita had always been jealous and slippery, it wouldn't be the first time she tried to prove to herself she was still desirable by flirting with Lupe's boyfriends. Lupe stepped outside and before she had time to stop herself or think things through found herself on the phone with her mother smiling a deadly smile that didn't reach her eyes and making plans to have coffee the next day to "go over the event."

Gen 1.16 Fra-mily Togetherness

With so much of the previous day taken up with travel, the Estes family woke up on their first day in the French countryside filled with hope. Lupe cooked them up a big breakfast of their favorite apple pancakes on the hostel's indifferent stove and sat down to plan the day over plates of syrupy goodness. Lupe laid out the options, “There's a fantastic art museum just outside of town, with some water gardens we could go to, or there are world class vineyards and cider orchards, and there's a barrow we can explore... It says here there's an archaeology experience geared towards kids! You get to go to a real dig-site and uncover artifacts! Oh and historic house tours, would you look at those gardens?”

Juniper lobbied hard for the art museum, “Mom, I need to see the art museum! It has the best collection of impressionists outside the Louvre! Come on, Ash, Haze?”

Hazel could not care less and Ash was happy to go wherever there were people. So they went to the museum. Hazel and Ash dutifully looked at the paintings and the statues and then got heartily bored trying to go as slowly as Juniper wanted to go. Ash ran up to Hazel with a mischievous look in his eyes, about to tag her when Lupe intercepted him, “Hey there, buddy, I can see you're getting antsy. Do you wanna check out the gardens with me?”

Hazel turned around, “Mom, can I come too? I love art as much as the next person, but if I don't get out of this room...”

Lupe nodded and went to Juniper, “Junie, honey, the other kids have had about as much as they can take so I'm gonna take them out to the garden, but you keep going through the museum at your own pace. I'll text you if we decide to go before you find us.”

Juniper nodded absently. She was absorbed in Van Gogh's bold brushstrokes. Every day that week while her mother, brother, and sister checked out other sights, she came back to the art museum to slowly go through each room. She brought her sketch book and sat in front of artifacts brought back from even more foreign lands and sketched them out, she sketched marble busts and even some furniture that had lines that appealed to her. By the end of the week, she had grown familiar with all the security guards and felt comfortable enough to speak haltingly in French with them. She'd eat a sandwich by herself in the garden watching the birds, the water, and the koi thinking deeply about composition.

Lupe, Hazel, and Ash fell into an easy schedule of an educational morning outing, lunch on the hoof, and then an active afternoon activity. It worked well for a few days until they toured Le Vigne Pont de Pierre winery and vineyard and the whole wine making process peaked Hazel's interest. She loved the smell of the vineyard as they walked it with the tour guide, the dust on her shoes and the dew on her hands. She loved the contrast of the cool stone wine cellar and the physicality of crushing the grapes and making the wine. The tour guide, noticing the girl's enthusiasm, helpfully told them at the end of the tour and tasting that they had a Junior Apprenticeship program that ran three days with a new session beginning the following morning. Would mademoiselle be interested?

Hazel turned huge brown eyes on Lupe and asked beseechingly, “Mom, please? I want it more than anything in the world!” Lupe was just pleased to see her daughter take an interest in something that didn't involve a ball that she agreed.

Lupe turned to Ash, “Looks like it will just be you and me, kiddo! What would you like to do tomorrow? Wanna explore the barrow? Go fishing?”

“Do they have kids here? I wanna go to the park and play.”

Suddenly, gloom descended on Lupe and she felt like the worst mother in the world. How could she have neglected Ash's unstructured play time? She'd promised Lewis that he would have the childhood that Lewis had never had and now here they were in Europe and she was trying to drag him to another historical house neither of them would remember!

When they got back to the hostel, Lupe asked the bored girl at the desk about local playgrounds. The girl pretended to not know what she meant so Lupe tried again. The girl had looked at her but went back to her cuticles. Ash walked up to the desk and said in his most polite, appealing way, “See voo play, oo ay lay park?” Oddly, this charmed the girl in a way that Lupe's much better worded, oddly accented French had not and she defrosted enough to direct them to the town square.

Lupe remembered the square as being completely paved over with benches, trees, and a few stone chess tables and not as a place that children would play. Still it was better than nothing and maybe someone there would be able to tell her where a playground would be and how to say that in French.

At the square, Ash amused himself by balancing on the low wall surrounding the flower beds and then pretending that the wall around the fountain was very treacherous and that he might slip in. Then he produced a ball from goodness knows where and started throwing it and catching it and then throwing it at the corner where the wall met the cobbles and bouncing it off to hit it with his hand and try again. After the ball went AWOL and took off one of the old men playing chess's hat, Lupe asked him to put the ball away. Then he began a game of balancing on the wall, but this time with pratfalls!

A woman came out of the green grocer carrying a basket of vegetables and holding a little girl's hand. They were talking with each other, their lilting voices sounding like bird calls. Lupe approached them and asked in her best French if the mother could tell her where the nearest playground was. The woman looked at her blankly. Lupe decided to try again, “Do you speak English?” she asked. The woman nodded, “A little”

Through a combination of going slowly and gestures, Lupe was able to convey the concept of “playground.” The mother's face lit up and she explained to the little girl what it was the stranger wanted. In a piping voice, the little girl said to her mother, “The one with the football field and the basketball hoop is the best!” The mother smiled at Lupe and said in English, “We go now, you come with us?” Lupe agreed and called Ash over. Putting her hand over her heart, Lupe said, “Je m'appelle Lupe et il est appelé Ash" and tapped his head. The mother introduced herself as Estelle and her daughter as Eveline. The little girl gestured to Ash to follow her and went running off towards a residential area. The mothers followed behind at a more sedate pace, shouting directions to the kids at intervals to do things like wait at the corner.

They eventually came to a reasonable sized park with a few shade trees, a soccer field, an asphalt basketball court, picnic pavilions, and a playground. Two little boys were already playing tag by themselves and a blond boy about Ash's age was reading a book under a tree with an air of resignation. Estelle spoke to Eveline for a moment and then came to Lupe, "I go" she indicated her groceries, "I be back soon."

Lupe got out a book keeping half an eye on the children. When she began reading all five children had been engaged in their own things. She looked up at the end of a chapter to see that the boy who had been reading had put down his book to join in the two brothers' game of tag. Ash was at the top of the jungle gym with Estelle. She went back to her book and looked up when she heard a lot of feet go by. All the children were now playing tag. Eventually Estelle came back and got out her knitting. She and Lupe sat in companionable silence until the church bells rang out that it was five o'clock. Then Estelle packed up her knitting and called Eveline over. The two conversed quickly in French before Estelle turned to go. Lupe stopped her, slowly and haltingly she tried to ask Estelle about children playing alone in this country. Estelle shrugged and said, "They are children, they play. It is nice to watch, sometimes. I have to make food now, au revoir!"

Lupe looked at the kids playing. The oldest one was about ten and the youngest was six, Ash's age. They were there by themselves. By the gate to the park, there was a tangle of bikes and scooters and a pile of helmets like so many strange melons. She checked her watch, almost time to meet up with the girls for dinner at the cafe. She called out to Ash and let him know that he had five minutes before they were to go.

After dinner that night, Juniper asked Lupe if they could talk. Lupe followed the chubby young woman out to the garden and wondered what was on her mind. Juniper seemed to be struggling for words. They came to a widening of the garden path where an ancient firepit was set up. Juniper stooped over it stirring the ashes with a stick before speaking, "I just keep going over this in my head... Why did Nina do it? Why couldn't she just be a mom? Why wasn't I enough for her? I see how you are and how you were with Ash and Hazel and I feel so jealous. I try not to, because I know you love me too, but I'm not yours, not in the same way. You loved Shane and Lewis so much! It made me love them too in a way. I mean, I didn't get it, but I tried to see what you saw. You were so hurt and sad when Lewis died and now you're coming out of it and I'm just piling on! I'm sorry!"

Lupe crossed to be beside Juniper and put her arm around her, "Oh honey! You are enough. You have always been enough and you always will be enough. Nina had a hole in her heart and she tried to fill it in all the wrong ways. It was never about you." Juniper laughed bitterly and muttered, "Story of my life." Lupe winced, "That came out wrong. You are not the reason that your birth mom drank and did drugs. She is the one with something wrong with her. She wanted to feel better about the corner she put herself in so she drank and did drugs. Her beauty and her sex appeal made her feel powerful and she used that to get what she wanted from men. Unfortunately, she never learned what made her the most important person in the world to one person.

I am so lucky to have you, Junie. You show me a world I'd never know without you. You show me the beauty and artistry in the world. It's a cliche, but I'd seen many sunsets, but watching one through your eyes is amazing. You point out things I never would've noticed. Going to an art museum with you makes me see things in a different way. You are so kind and patient with your brother and sister we are truly blessed to have you in our family. I want you to know that even though as far as the government is concerned my obligation to you has ended, you will always be a part of my family and you will always have a place in my house and at my table." Lupe stumbled backwards a half-step as Juniper hugged her fiercely. "You are my daughter, mija, my oldest daughter and the first to fly the nest. I can't wait to see what you do with your life. Have you figured anything out since we've been here?"

Juniper took a deep breath and wiped some tears she didn't know she'd shed, "Aunt Leah said that since Elijah moved out she'd been using his room for a studio, and offered to let me rent the cabin by the river she had been using as a studio. Do you know it?"

Lupe knew it, of course. Leah used to live there when she'd first moved to Meadow Glen. It was smaller than Eliot's beach side shack, but cozier too. They'd kept it to use as a studio, artist's retreat, and love shack. It was their couple's place and the boys had seldomly been allowed there. Lupe had spent many afternoons and evenings there as a young woman, but she wouldn't feel comfortable crossing the threshold now. She felt so grateful to Leah and Elliot for offering it up to Junie. She tried to imagine the cabin denuded of Leah's sketches and models and Elliot's publisher's copies. It wouldn't be theirs anymore, it would be Juniper's and she guessed that was the point. "Have you been through it? Do you think it will suit you?" asked Lupe.

"I think so, they said they're going to repaint and do some repairs. Leah says that she'll leave the old sculpting table and easel if I'd like. It's just gonna be me, so it's plenty big enough." said Juniper resuming her walk.

Lupe fell in step beside her and asked, "And what will you do for money?"

"I've been selling some paintings and drawings on consignment lately and they're doing pretty well. Mrs Alvarez has been encouraging me to do something with those Trojan War comic strips I drew. I'm thinking about turning them into a web comic along with those Odysseus comics I drew with Lewis. I've got a lot of ideas. Worse comes to worse, I can paint faces at the farmer's market every weekend!" Lupe and Juniper walked around the dusky garden discussing the future until it got too dark and they went in.

For their last day in Champs les Sims, Lupe suggested to each of her children that the others would really enjoy going on a hike and then fishing together. She was really pleased when Hazel presented it as her own idea over breakfast, "Hey, Ash, Junie, would you like to take a hike and go fishing with me and Mom? I'd like to get more of a feel for the land."

Lupe packed a picnic lunch while the girls gathered sunblock and bug spray and Ash spoke to the hostel about the fishing poles that were advertised. There was something about Ash that made people want to be around him and make him happy. When he turned on the charm, people fell over themselves making things happen for him. Ash met them outside laden down with fishing poles, tackle boxes, and directions to the best fishing hole in the area. They piled into the car and headed off into the hills behind town as the rolling hills passed by in a yellow-green blur. At last they pulled up to the gravel parking lot at the trail-head and got out, divvying up gear before checking their maps and heading off into the meadow that gave way to oak and chestnut forest. As they climbed the hill, they laughed and joked together, reminiscing about the good times. A shadow had lifted and Lupe found herself telling a story about Lewis so that Ash would know his "father." It was still too early to tell him about his heritage, but he should know something of Lewis, she thought. The girls then chimed in with their memories of him. Then they saw a sparkle up ahead and they came around a bend to reveal a beaver pond with a grand home off in the distance. The family perched on a convenient boulder and ate their lunch, chattering and enjoying the sights and sounds of nature. After, they lined up on the bank and cast their lines hoping for minnows, but enjoying each other's company. Lupe wondered if the beavers found half as much satisfaction from their creation as she did from hers.

They left for home early the next morning and when they got back, Meadow Glen seemed a little smaller than it had before. There was a big, wide world out there, and Lupe wanted to see all of it. But first, there was a daughter to say goodbye to and settle in a new home; another daughter to start high school; and a son to ease into the new school year.

Author's Note: Non, ne je regrette rien. Even terrible puns. As this goes on it's getting harder to write. I have an outline with the world stuff figured out but the little plot points are harder to hit. Story Progression did some really weird things that upset my sims a lot. It's so hard to write about that! Have a lovely long weekend, US readers!

Gen 1.15 One thing and another and time passes.

In between conducting her research, raising a baby, Hazel's scouts activities, and Juniper's young artist program the year flew by. Ash was a lovely baby who was always being cooed at by someone and always smiling and laughing at his big sisters. He was a good sleeper and didn't cry very much at all. When he began pulling himself up to cruise and walk he didn't get into much mischief either. Suddenly, and without much fanfare he was a babbling, stumbling toddler.

Juniper and Kathryn were holed up in Juniper's room reading magazines and giggling. Hazel lurked in the hallway listening to them talk, “Did you see his muscles?! OMG, Anthony is getting so hot!”

“Too bad he's such a jerk! What?! I'm allowed to say that! He's my cousin! Besides, he

always pulled my hair and called me 'Frizzy' until the eighth grade!”

“Did you see the way that Britney was throwing herself at him?”

“Ugh! Pathetic! Like she's never seen a boy before!”

“Gee, Anthony,” Juniper began in a mocking sultry voice, “You're so strong! Can you help me carry my books? To class?!” The girls let out peals of laughter. After the laughter had died down, Juniper asked, “So, how was your date?”

There was some rustling as Kathryn shifted and moved a bit. Then, “No! You didn't! Did your mom see?! No wonder you're wearing a scarf!” Hazel decided that teenagers were boring and that climbing trees was interesting and went running off to her favorite one. She stopped spying on her sister after overhearing a few conversations like that, though she did wonder why Guy was spending so much time in Juniper's room when Aunt Leah and Uncle Elliot came over. Were they doing that too?

They were not doing that, though not for lack of trying on Guy's part. Juniper was equal parts uninterested and oblivious. Guy was not the most clear in his signalling either, preferring to talk about schoolwork, his part time job, and his family.

When Leah and her family came over Hazel usually played ball outside with Joe. When he was a jerk, which was often because he was a boy, she called him by his full name, Giovanni, which he hated. Sometimes they jumped on the trampoline making up rhymes about each other's names. Hazel's favorite went, “Giovanni, Giovanni, you are a bunny!” Giovanni's went “Hazy Hazy, you drive me crazy!”

Lupe was proceeding with caution regarding her mother, brother, and niece. Florita had started up with another pyramid scheme, this time selling spa products. Mike and Lupe were studiously avoiding the topic and also her free samples, but at least she was living on her own for the moment. Maya was a sturdy four year old to Hazel's seven and was pretty happy to do whatever it was her older cousin wanted to do. Hazel taught Maya to play tag, catch, hopscotch, and how to do forward rolls on the trampoline.

Ash was a charming toddler. He spent most of his time cuddling his bear and putting it to bed. He also enjoyed building block towers and having bear knock them down and then crying because why would Pan-Pan do that? Fish was cautiously interested in him and would crouch down watching him and come up behind him to sniff his head and give it a lick. This attention delighted Ash who would wave his hands and shout with laughter, scaring the cat. He then spent a lot of time tracking the elusive feline down and trying to pet him. Fish learned that the high road was best for avoiding inquisitive small humans.

Lewis was filling up his photo albums with pictures of Ash playing with Pan-Pan. He took pictures of Lupe holding both of Ash's hands as he toddled around the living room. He took pictures of the cat investigating the baby. He also cut out the birth announcement and put it opposite the picture of Lupe holding Ash in the science lab. Lupe didn't find out about this until after Lewis had died. Lewis was in his mid seventies when Ash was born and while he was in decent health, he was also old and lonely. His assistant said that when she left one night, he told her he was going to be working late and when she came in the next morning he was sprawled out over the desk, cold. Lewis was as good as his word, and left enough in trust for Ash to cover his expenses, pay for college, and buy a starter home if they were frugal.

Lupe grieved for him deeply. She knew he was old and that his age was the whole reason why they'd embarked on the odyssey of cloning him, but she'd gotten to know a side of him that no one else saw. The funeral was about the shrewd politician and great philanthropist who left endowments for the hospital, the local elementary school, and donated his family's private collection to the art museum after letting them have it on loan for decades. It didn't touch on the man who's heart had begun opening to Lupe and her children. They didn't talk about the way he'd encouraged Juniper towards reading the classics and illustrating key passages of Homer's Odyssey. They didn't mention how he'd talk baseball and sports with Hazel, patiently explaining the mechanics of sport in a way that her father and uncles didn't. She cried and she cried and she turned to Shane in her grief. She thought of telling him about Ash and his true parentage, but she looked at him toddling around and playing and didn't have the heart for his status to become common knowledge.

She was in a fog for years when, she suddenly woke up, looked around and realized that Juniper was graduating high school, Hazel would be entering it shortly, and that Ash was a child. She wasn't getting any younger and she wanted more time with her children before they flew the coop. She wanted more memories to fill those albums of Lewis'. With these thoughts swirling in her brain she got online and booked a week long trip to France for the family.

Author's Note: I kind of fell down on the job with taking pictures and Juniper's Teen years and Hazel's Child years were really low key. Besides, I kind of feel like this story needs to be about Lupe and her finding her way as an adult. There just aren't enough stories about mothers/with mothers as the viewpoint character. Needless to say, here's a gratuitous picture of Ash, asleep on the floor.